I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
