ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Randomize
