If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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