Duck Duck Cougar?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
