her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
