Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
