also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
