honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
