put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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