We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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