He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
