oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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