four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Randomize
