I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
