are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
