Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
