Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
