What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
