god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
