Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
