WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
