Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
