What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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