What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
