Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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