The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
