i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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