No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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