I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Randomize
