I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
