i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Randomize
