cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
