no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
