Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
