Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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