please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
