ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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