dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
