so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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