why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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