remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
