I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
