Nicole vs. Life
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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