is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
