i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
