thus making me awesome and them whores
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
