New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
