I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
