I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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