Its about making memories worth repressing
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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